After finding out what Zane died of, I nearly went under depression. After getting the death certificate, (husband sitting beside me in the car) husband suggested I look it up.
“Look at me Alexis,” he said.
“This is not your fault. You did nothing wrong.”
I looked more it to the definition of Sepsis:
A serious condition resulting from the presence of harmful microorganisms in the blood or other tissues and the body’s response to their presence, potentially leading to the malfunctioning of various organs shock and death.
Some of the symptoms Zane had:
Fever. But it didnt stay long. We had to pick him up from daycare.
Vomiting. After I breastfed him, majority of the time- between December and January, he threw it up. It always landed back in my face.
Swelling: I thought he was growing into a big baby.
Pale color: As I look back at pictures of my baby, he did look pale.
Sweating: When I picked him up from his crib, I did notice sweating. He sweated bad that I had to clean between the layers of fat around his neck, because it began to stink.
diarrhea: I was use to the pooping! I have 3 others in diapers!
He did a lot of crying. I barely got any sleep. He ALWAYS wanted someone to hold him.
I cried. How could I have known my baby has sepsis? I took him to the doctor 3 times in his life: oh he is fine. Just continue to breastfeed…and the usual stuff they say.
“Well the weather was bad during the time he was born,” I told my husband.
“Maybe I let the kids hold him to much. They were sniffing too.”
So I assumed, that he died because of being around the other babies.
But something within (the Holy Spirit) would not let me settle for that. In my search engine, the question came up
“Is Sepsis contagious?”
It is not. You can’t get it from child to child. You cant get it by having sex.
So how did my son get this virus?
While at work, I asked my manager have she ever heard of Sepsis. She said she had. When I told her that’s what Zane died of, her face expression changed.
“That’s a hospital virus! You may have a case or something to look into.”
After she left, my mind just kept running….how did this infection get in my son’s blood?
The Holy Spirit began to speak. “Needle. NEEDLE.”
That’s all I heard. After I began to put the pieces together, INSTANTLY I knew.
I know I may sound crazy- but I trust and KNOW the voice of God.
After putting the pieces together. I became even more depressed. I cried, thinking it’s my fault. Why could I not save my baby?? How could I have known?? I screamed for days….
What was more depressing was that on the death certificate, the manner of death said “natural causes”
There is nothing natural about Sepsis!!!
This is FAR from over. I’m going to find out what happened to my baby. God is on my side, and I know he will guide me to truth.
Rest in peace Zane. Mommy is gonna get to the truth.
Ye shall know the truth- and the truth shall make you free.