To Battle or Not to Battle?

Learning that my child died of Sepsis has changed everything for me….everything!!! I went back to January 21st….the day I seen him flop in Sam’s arms…the day I screamed and begged the nurses and doctors to pray with me. I cried and screamed all over again. I began to want some answers.

“Baby if you dig into this, its gonna consume you. You got us to still think about,” Sam said out of concern.

I understand why he said that. Imagine your baby boy taking his last breath in your arms….and you are in shock mode. He hates to even talk about it. I took his advice…for a second only.

I called some women with wisdom. Two of then are from my church, and one of them I met through my husband.

“I don’t want any bitterness in my heart. I just want some answers,” I told them over the phone.

“Is it wrong for me to want answers? Is it wrong for me to be angry? I just want to know what happened! I cried over the phone.

All three of them said: “If it was me, I would want some answers. There is NOTHING wrong with that.”

After getting off the phone with those ladies, I went to sleep….and cried.

That morning I woke up, I went to my word. I was just in tears. My husband saw me…he came to me again, with tears in his eyes asking me not to get caught up in this.

“I need to know what happened!” I told him crying.

I went back to reading…this is what gave me confort.

“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”
Ephesians 6:10‭-‬13 KJV

Before I attempted to make a natural step, I understood that I would be going up against some demonic stuff. Principalities…check out that part where it says “rulers of the darkness of this world”….that alone tells me a lot. Then it says “spiritual wickedness in high places”

Don’t think the government, the CDC, and the medical industry is wicked? Just look around you!!!! They are in high places make unfair laws to cripple our families! They wont to keep us timid and afraid!!!

God is searching for a people that is not afraid. He is looking for soldiers that is willing to take His equipment to the battlefield! He want us to armor up in him…God is tired of the slaughter of the children in the land…but he needs a vessel to trust with his equipment!

Send me Lord….I will go.

Once I got that principle down packed, I KNEW it was time to get some answers for my son. I inboxed a friend of mine that lost her baby in March…Catie Cobes is her name. She confirmed what I already knew….it was time to battle.

Rest in peace son….With God’s equipment, I will win this battle. Justice will prevail for you!!!

#babyzanelives #justiceforZane

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